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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29683863">and if i could (i'd give you the moon)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/protemani/pseuds/protemani'>protemani</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Rendezvous With Destiny (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, I am the only writer in this fandom /where/ would I find a beta?, M/M, POV Loki (RWD), Reincarnation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:22:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29683863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/protemani/pseuds/protemani</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki loses track of the number of world restarts after a while. Much as they try, though, they can't lose track of Manisson.</p><p>(Maybe they don't want to.)</p><p>Reincarnation!Angst.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Theodore Manisson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from <a href="https://genius.com/Kina-get-you-the-moon-lyrics">this song</a> (which is defo the song of this ship.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thor slaps the scrawny mortal on the back, making him stagger forward. “Loki, allow me to introduce you to Teddy. He’s Mani’s son, one of the most resilient scions around.”</p><p>Loki quirks an eyebrow at the twenty-something fiddling with his tie before them and smiles. “Pleasure.” They turn around then, not waiting for the demigod’s reply. <em> Now, where is– </em></p><p>“Not so fast, if you’d please!” Thor says, and Loki stifles a sigh. “We made a bet. I’ve found somebody who can definitely solve one of your riddles, so it’s time to put it to the test.”</p><p>“A riddle?” </p><p>The scion’s voice, while surprised and slightly nervous, has an obvious note of curiosity in it that makes Loki turn around. </p><p>“Indeed,” they drawl, consciously putting derision in to try and see if they can make the young man flinch. He doesn’t, instead raising his eyes to meet Loki’s with the sort of self-assurance that only somebody who lives comfortably with the knowledge of how easily they can be crushed could have.</p><p>His eyes are very, very blue.</p><p>“What is the riddle?” Theodore (they assume) asks. </p><p>Loki inclines their head slightly to the side, studying his profile for a bit. Eventually, they reply:</p><p>“I shine first in Asgard but last in Alexandria. Who am I?”</p><p>The scion is quiet for a moment, before, too, inclining his head slightly forward.</p><p>“The one who shines in Babylon after the sun, I think<a href="#moon" id="moonback" name="moonback"><sup>1</sup></a>,” he says.</p><p>Loki nods. “That is precisely right.”</p><p>Thor’s laughter booms to their side. “Ha, I knew it! Pay up.”</p><p>Loki reaches into their pocket without further comment and hands Thor a few gold coins. “Now, go and buy this charming demigod of yours a drink for his effort.”</p><p>The scion’s voice draws Loki’s attention back to him. “Thank you very much, my liege.” His eyes have hardened just a bit. “I do, however, believe you have gone easy on me, which I thank you for, but I do not think I deserve an award for that.”</p><p>Loki smirks.</p><p>“Nonsense,” they reply, already formulating the next riddle. “Never have I met a worthier scion.” <em>Not a lie</em>; as a rule, they stay away from that lot. “If you insist on proving yourself again, however, I will gladly give you the opportunity to do so.”</p><p>Theodore’s adam apple bobs up and down, but his nod is firm.</p><p>“Very well, then,” Loki says, feeling their mouth turn up into a sincere grin, and lets Thor drag all three of them to the bar.</p><p>(The god of thunder lasts only thirty more minutes in their company before he decides he’s bored and goes to find a dance partner to swoop off their feet; which is just as well, since Loki and Theodore are fine with being just with the other until dawn.</p><p>Funnily enough, though, Loki rarely is rarely fine by <em> themselves </em>afterwards.)</p>
<hr/><p>Loki forgets, after a while, how it all ended for the first time – whether Flora tripped and fell or Elspeth’s hand faltered or Cleo wasn’t fast enough – they just remember this: that the world was a little too little for a little too long, and then it was enough again.</p><p>(They try not to think about or <em> during </em> the interim years, the ones where their consciousness is not fully formed – <em> the gods' version of childhood – </em> and there isn’t a single moment when they <em> remember </em> for the first time of every next time how everything works; they just <em> know. </em>)</p><p>They do remember, though, how, the first reincarnation <em>after</em>, they avoided meeting Theodore like the plague.</p><p>Mostly because it didn't work.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><a id="moon" name="moon"></a>1. This is a reference to the <a href="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planetary_hours%23:~:text%3DThe%2520Ptolemaic%2520system%2520of%2520planetary,appear%2520in%2520the%2520night%2520sky&amp;sa=D&amp;source=editors&amp;ust=1614192604099000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1sD2Q-kmmRAXlGpp29W5ac">planetary hours</a>. Basically, the Moon shines first in Asgard because the first day of the week (<em>Mon</em>day) is named for it. Alexandria is a reference to Ptolemy's ordering of the planets, which allegedly followed the Chaldean (Babylonian) order (from slowest to fastest moving in the sky). The moon is last in that order, but its day comes after the sun's day (Sunday). This links back to days of the week because these are tied to the Chaldean order.</p><p> </p><p>  <strong>tl;dr: Loki is sort of making fun of Manisson by posing him a riddle where the answer is his own dad &amp; Manisson responds 'yes i do actually know my stuff, thank you very much'.</strong><br/><a href="#moonback">Back.</a></p><p> </p><p>This was part of a longer one-shot, but I'm posting this segment now because I noticed earlier the tag has been categorised and wanted to celebrate. It will probably end up getting posted in two more parts for a total of three.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m sorry,” a familiar voice says behind them, “you wouldn’t happen to know where the library is, would you?”</p><p>Loki <em> freezes </em>for a split second before turning around so fast the end of their robe looks like it splashes across Manisson’s feet like tides answering the moon’s pull. “Excuse me?”</p><p>“The library,” Theodore repeats, voice slightly more nervous than before. Then, his eyes widen in recognition. “Oh, but I’m sorry! My liege, Loki, have I not addressed you properly?” And he hastens to bow his head before them.</p><p>Loki swallows. Hard. “Please stop. There is no need to do this,” they look towards the tapestry they’d been staring at before. </p><p>“It is down the hallway to the right,” they gesture vaguely in the correct direction, “take the first two right turns and then the last one is a left. It’s fairly obvious, big, encrusted door that it has, I’m sure you’ll find it easily.”</p><p>Something akin to a snicker sounds to their side, but when they look again Manisson just looks apologetic, and a bit embarrassed. </p><p>“Right, yes, sorry for bothering you,” he says, eyes straying towards the tapestry. They dance across it quickly before settling on the same spot Loki was looking at before he interrupted them.</p><p>Loki turns their gaze back towards it, saying nothing. <em> If you don’t engage, he’ll go away, he’s not the type to– </em></p><p>“It is a <em> very </em>beautiful tapestry,” Theodore says, voice full of wonder. Loki stills. “I wonder how I never noticed it before.”</p><p>A pause.</p><p>“Sorry, I’ll just–”</p><p>“It is, isn’t it?” Loki says, and they’re not sure why their voice comes out <em> wistful. </em>They point towards the spot they’ve both been looking at. “Here, though, it seems a bit different from how I remember seeing it before.” </p><p>They stop, then, suddenly realising why they’ve engaged after all, what the question they’ve been wanting to ask all along is. </p><p>They wet their lips. “Don’t you think so?”</p><p>Silence. Loki turns to look towards Manisson again, who is in turn looking at them with an odd expression on his face – somewhere half-way between confusion and a regretful sympathy. </p><p>His smile is as genuine as they go, too. “No, sorry, I admit I haven’t looked at it too much. Ragnarok is one of those things one does their best to avoid in all of its forms, eh?”</p><p>He chuckles lightly at the last bit, evidently testing the waters, and Loki forces themself to smile.</p><p>“Naturally,” they reply, turning back towards the tapestry. “Go on, then, I’m sure the book you’re looking for is far more interesting than <em> this </em>old thing.”</p><p>“Book? Oh, yes, the library,” Theodore’s voice makes Loki spare a side glance at his shuffling feet. “To be honest, I’m not looking for any particular book. It’s my first time visiting, I mostly just wanted to take a look and see–see for myself...”</p><p>He trails off as he sees Loki’s face, which, they are well aware, is probably somewhere on the spectrum between disbelief and exasperation. </p><p><em> In for a penny, in for a pound, is that what they say these days? </em>They think before replying: </p><p>“Come on, then, I’ll give you a tour.” </p><p>They start marching down the corridor without waiting for Manisson’s response. “That place is far too big, trust me, and the shelving system is an absolute <em> mess, </em>you’ll get overwhelmed on your own.” They add, just saying words at that point, making excuses, trying to figure out–</p><p>“Oh! Thank you, ah, I don’t mean to trouble you,” Theodore says, step catching up to theirs. </p><p>“It’s no problem, really,” Loki replies, taking the first right turn. “It’s as you said, anyway: best to avoid staring at Ragnarok <em> too much </em>lest it ends up happening.”</p><p>They don’t know whether it’s something in their voice that earns it, but Manisson’s befuddled air beside them shifts to something slightly more...apprehensive. Loki throws another side glance to see him furrowing his eyebrows and decides to quickly divert.</p><p>“Ah, yes, by the way – what is your name?”</p><p>(They’re not surprised at how the night ends.)</p><hr/><p>“Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a situation you can’t escape? And what do you do then?”</p><p>They voice the thought out loud before they can catch themselves. The breeze glides across the warm summer air, cicadas chorusing the night, and dusk has just settled over them. The wood they are leaning on is old and worn; the porch of the villa faces to the east, perfect for sunrise, never for sunset.</p><p>Theo hums softly, evidently not noticing anything odd in Loki’s tone. “Stuck...in what sense? As if you can’t move on from something, or as if something is not letting <em> you </em>move on?”</p><p>Loki bites back on a laugh. Iron and irony taste the same. “Both, I guess.”</p><p>“Okay,” Theo answers, turning fully to them. “Well, I would try and let go of what I can, then, and hope that the rest just...sorts itself out.”</p><p>Loki turns their head to look at him as well. His eyes are still very, very blue. The glasses have slid down his nose – they repress the urge to push them back up.</p><p>(Of all the intimacy they’ve shared, this one feels too much.)</p><p>“And if you don’t...know that it’s something you’re able to let go of,” they reply, conscious of the strange switch in roles, and make a mental note never to allow it again. “What then?”</p><p>Theo gives them a small, sad smile <em>(never again)</em> and says: “Well...you have to try, don’t you? There’s nothing else to really do.”</p><p>“Yes,” Loki says, swallows, turns their head to look back over at the horizon again. “I suppose so.”</p><p>Theo hums, and then the cicadas wash over the night again. Loki tries to remember it, all of it.</p><p>(It works a little too well.)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry, got lost in assignments and another fandom rabbit hole, please accept this humble offering update, small as it may be. I was going to end this in three parts, but there's more I want to add before the end, I think, so yes (the last chapter is already written, it's just the interim parts that are sticky). Hope you enjoy, and leave a comment if you'd like to tell me what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They leave without saying goodbye.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thor slaps the scrawny mortal on the back, making him stagger forward. “Loki, allow me to introduce you to Teddy. He’s Mani’s son, one of the most resilient scions around.”</p><p>Loki quirks an eyebrow at the twenty-something fiddling with his tie before them and smiles. “Pleasure,” they say, trying to put in enough derision to make it sound like a lie. </p><p>“He can definitely solve one of your riddles, so it’s time we put that to the test.”</p><p>Loki stays perfectly still.</p><p>“A riddle?” The scion’s voice, surprised and slightly nervous, has a note of curiosity in it that makes Loki’s stomach flip. </p><p>“Indeed,’ they drawl, but it is very half-hearted. </p><p>Theodore’s eyes are on theirs, and they are very, very blue. Suddenly, Loki is caught between two very strong, contradictory impulses: they want to both make this moment last as long as possible (as long as forever), and they want to run. They’re not sure which of these is more selfish.</p><p>“What is the riddle?” </p><p>Loki inclines their head slightly to the side, drinking in his profile for a bit. Eventually, they reply:</p><p>“I shine fifth in Asgard and fifth in Alexandria. Who am I?”</p><p>The scion is quiet for a moment before furrowing his eyebrows. Loki feels their breath hitch.</p><p>“The one who shines fifth in Babylon as well, I think,” he says, visibly hesitant.<a href="#vendef" id="vendefback" name="vendefback"><sup>1</sup></a></p><p>Loki nods. “That is precisely right.”</p><p>Thor’s laughter booms to his side. “Ha, I knew it! Pay up.”</p><p>Loki reaches into their pocket without further comment and hands Thor a few gold coins. “Now go and buy this charming demigod of yours a drink for his effort.”</p><p> They aren’t looking at him, though, but at Theodore’s face, eyebrows still drawn together. </p><p>“Thank you very much, my liege.” He says, voice sounding slightly confused. He adds nothing further.</p><p>Loki tries for a smirk. They aren’t sure they succeed. “You’re welcome,” they reply, already resigning themselves to ending the night alone. “You are the worthiest scion I’ve ever met,” they add, quickly, pivoting on their heels.</p><p>(It’s not a lie. It’s so true that it <em> hurts.</em>)</p><p>“Wait.”</p><p>Loki turns around, feeling like their heart is being drawn by a puppeteer’s strings.</p><p>Theodore’s Adam's apple bobs up and down, but his gaze is firm. “Would you like to join us?”</p><p>(And really, in what universe could they say no to<em> that?)</em></p><p>“Very well, then,” Loki says, feeling their mouth smile despite their heart being in their feet, and lets Thor drag all three of them to the bar.</p><p>(The god of thunder lasts only thirty more minutes in their company before he decides he’s bored and goes to find a dance partner to swoop off their feet; which is just as well, since Loki could spend a thousand more first nights like this and never be satisfied.</p><p>They leave without saying goodbye.)</p><hr/><p>They will not look at him. They will <em> not. </em></p><p>“I came here because of our agreement,” they say, or something to that effect. </p><p>Cleo’s hand appears to tighten on her sword at the same time as Elspeth knits her eyebrows and Flora raises her staff. There is somebody else to the side, a tall boy seemingly around their age. Loki focuses on him for a second, then blinks. <em> Huh. </em> <b> <em>This </em> </b> <em> is interesting. </em></p><p>Then their gaze shifts of its own accord and Manisson is looking at him, teeth seemingly grit, face–</p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p><p>Loki smirks a bit more, spouts something else, and vanishes away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><a id="vendef" name="vendef"></a>1. See footnote in chapter 1. Planet in question here is Venus.<a href="#vendefback">^</a></p><p>I was fully intending on having more of this, but I think it's time to let it go <strike>for now</strike>. There's also the new season start to look forward to, so best to start that with on-going fic less before the plot bunnies attack.</p><p>If you liked this story, I'd love to read your thoughts on it, and you can also check out my other works for this fandom out.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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